Impossible Girl
by Holly The Sparkling Unicorn
Summary: it started out like an ordinary day, we got home from Hogwarts and went to Grandma Molly's like we always did the first day of summer. However, no one was expecting what was about to happen. Mentions Suicide.


**Impossible Girl**

* * *

 _And some nights, I'm scared you'll forget me again_  
 _Some nights, I always win (I always win)_  
 _But I still wake up, I still see your ghost_  
 _Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for_  
 _What do I stand for?_  
 _What do I stand for?_  
 _Most nights, I don't know_

 _Some Nights - Fun_

* * *

 _It started out like an ordinary day, we got home from Hogwarts and went to Grandma Molly's like we always did the first day of summer. However, no one was expecting what was about to happen. James was sitting at the kitchen table which was strange in itself since he should've been at work, but the impeccably strange thing was the fact that both grandma and grandpa, who had gone through two wars and were strong as rocks, were crying. James looked at the six of us in despair._

 _"Mum is dead."_

It had been three weeks since her mother's suicide and Lily Potter was ready to just get back to normal. Her father and step mother were hovering around her and her siblings way too much for her liking. Yes, sure her and her siblings had a huge list of mental health problems but she was no more likely to kill herself now than she was three weeks prior. However, this particular summer she did withdraw from her family a lot, but that had to do with her being pregnant more than her being suicidal. As a coping mechanism she had shattered everything that had reminded her of her mother - she didn't want to see or think about her these days - she couldn't believe that she had just left her family. But then again, she had done that years ago when she refused to acknowledge her and Albus' relationships with the Malfoy siblings. She was plan and simply a chicken.

The sun was shining brightly when she walked out the door of her family home. She reached for her purple sunglasses located on the top of her head and put them over her eyes. Her headphones were in her ears connected to the Muggle music device on her hip. Although the heat was sweltering, the presence of the sun and the distant rainbow on the horizon was welcomed as it was raining for the past week. When Lily went to work every morning she would have to bring an umbrella to avoid getting soaked by the rain.

Unlike the normal fourteen year old Hogwarts students lounging by the pool or at the beach lounging in the sand by the sea, Lily had planned to make money by selling her self brewed potions that summer. Her cousins who were spending the summer in the park by the community garden thought she was crazy, but Lily didn't think they would think that if they knew just how much money she was making.

"Potter."

"Morning Uncle Burke."

Burke screwed up his face in disgust. "I'm not your uncle."

Lily laughed. "You'll always be my uncle, Uncle Burke."

Burke rolled his eyes. "I'll never forget you, you're too weird."

"Thanksssss," Lily hissed in parseltounge which made the shop owner squirm. Lily smirked, ever since she had figured out Burke hated when people used parseltounge, Lily would always speak it to drive him crazy.

"Should kick you out, I should," he muttered shaking his head causing Lily to laugh.

"You couldn't get rid of me if you tried."

Lily walked trough the darkened shop to where she had set up her station too. Ever since she had gotten out of Hogwarts for the holiday she was selling her homemade potions to people out of Borgin and Burke's shop. In the short time she had been there she had made friends with Mr. Burke and got along with Mr. Borgin as well. Lily had used an extension charm on the back part of the shop so she could set up her display of potions. It was nothing fancy, just a counter and a few shelves with various potion viles, a vase made out of lego pieces with a bouquet of sunflowers sat on the counter - Lily's way of brightening up the atmosphere of the dingy shop. Her potions worked for a variety of things from pain killers, to dreamless sleep, to wolfsbane and they were famous because of Lily's ability to make them taste less like death.

"Go up to her," Lily looked up at the couple of teen aged boys a few feet away from her. one of them were definitely older than her but she didn't remember seeing either of them around Hogwarts.

"I'm afraid. I think she's into voodoo. I dunno," one if the boys said causing Lily to roll her eyes.

"I can hear you, you know," she said loudly causing one of the boys to shriek and the other to hit him in the shoulder.

"Ignore my little brother," he said walking up to the counter and smiling. "How're you today, m'lady?"

"What do you want?" Lily asked looking at him pointedly. The boy went to touch her arm which she recoiled from:

"Touch me and burn," she spat pointing her wand at his face.

"Now, now," he said with a sly grin. "This discussion doesn't require a weapons discharge."

"I'll repeat: what do you want?" Lily was used to people trying to get over her time, she was on Knockturn Alley after all. She was used to having to be fierce with her customers, especially the ones older than her. She whispered a spell making the tip of her wand turn gold and the top of his head was set on fire, singeing his hair.

"We just want the blue-green painless," the younger boy who had appeared next to the older one replied, passing Lily the money. "Ignore him."

Lily accio'd the potion and passed it to the younger boy after taking the money. The older boy winked at her. "Later, sweet cheeks."

Lily shook her head. "Is that supposed to be an apology? If it is, it's not very good."

The boy just smirked before following the younger kid out, Lily had a mind to set his robes on fire, but decided against it.

"Did you really do that?" Borgin laughed, gesturing to the singed hair. "Good job."

"People are impossible," Lily nodded and grabbed a bronze colored vile off the shelf under the counter and swallowed it in one go, picking up a red colored lollipop to suck on to mask the taste. "Still can't figure out how to make this taste less like cannabis."

"Maybe don't base it with actual cannabis then," Borgin sassed. "You really shouldn't do that on the job you know... or when you're pregnant."

"Fuck it," Lily shrugged, sitting back in the chair waiting for her high to kick in.

"We have company!" Burke yelled from across the store and Lily looked over to see none other than her father.

"Lillian Luna Potter! What the fuck are you doing?"

Lily paused, her father _never_ swore. _Shit._ "What are you doing here?"

"I got a tip about someone selling potions out of this shop," Harry answered. "You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

"None whatsoever," Lily smiled sweetly, pretending she wasn't standing behind a counter with dozens of potions on the shelf behind her. Harry gave his daughter a pointed look.

"I'm disappointed in you, Lily," he frowned.

"That isn't new, is it?" Lily gestured to her stomach. "I'm sorry I'm not the daughter you wanted, maybe Taylor will be."

"Lily, that isn't-"

"I don't care," Lily snapped. "Just take me home."

"It isn't that simple, Lily."

"Well take me to Azkaban then, I don't care!" Lily yelled, tears pooling in her eyes.

Harry took one look at his daughter and sighed. He sent a Patronus back to the office alerting his staff that he found the potioneer selling out of Borgin and Burke's and for someone to come get the potions and he apparated Lily home. "What's this really about, Lily?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lily refused to look her father in the eye.

"You can't be so reckless," Harry sighed. "You have a baby to be thinking about."

"I don't care about the baby," Lily huffed. "He's making me fat and sick and he's always hungry. I don't want to eat it'll just make me fatter! I'm a cow!"

"Lily-"

"And then she just goes and kills herself when she doesn't even have _any real problems!_ She's not the one with the eating disorder! Then she has the balls to leave me a letter insisting it's my fault-"

"She did what?" Harry cut her off, rage filled his voice. He knew his ex wife had problems, the woman had killed herself with a self appointed Avada Kavadera after all. But he never in a million years had any clue that she would try to blame her suicide on her children. He had officially lost faith in anything good ever coming from Ginny Weasley.

"She said in my letter that if Albus and I didn't side with the Malfoy's she wouldn't have killed herself," Lily was freely crying now, tears streamed down her cheeks which she wiped, smudging her purple eye shadow and making her mascara run as well.

"Lily it isn't-"

"I know it isn't my fault," Lily insisted with a sigh. "But it isn't fair! She's gone and still making me feel guilty. It isn't fair! Why can't I-"

"Why can't you what?"

Lily sniffed. "I don't want to die, I really don't. But I don't want to be like this anymore either."

"Suicide isn't the answer, Lily," Harry hugged her close to him and she cried into his chest. "Your mother learned that the hard way."

"I know," Lily cried, clinging to her father like a leech. It had been three weeks since her mother pasted, but it wasn't until that moment that Lily finally felt closure.

* * *

 _Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving  
Stay by Rihanna_

* * *

Word Count: 1544

Assignment 11: Noble witches and wizards Task 1: Write about borgin and burkes

June Film Festival: (Word) Fierce, (Dialogue) I'm afraid, I think she's into voodoo. I dunno.

Hot air balloon: (color) Bronze

Days of the week; disobedient day; Write about someone being disobedient

Summer Prompts: (Dialogue) I'll never forget you, you're too weird

Color prompts: Blue-Green

Birthstones: Onyx; (Dialogue) I'm sorry I'm not the daughter you wanted

Flowers: (Title) Impossible Girl

Fire prompts: (Quote) Touch me and you'll burn

The producers; write about a plan failing awfully. Alt Write about people wanting more money

Gryffindor Prompts; Lily Potter, reckless, gold

Star Chart: (emotion) anger

Who's your daddy: overprotective!Dad

Faerie Day; Summer faerie: sweltering, summer, sea, sand, fair, park, garden, pool, umbrella, sunglasses

Homes Mystery Challenge: Headphones

TV Addicts; Skins; (plot point) Character takes drugs (bonus), (Dialogue) "fuck it", (Trait) rebellious teen

Gobstones: orange stone (rebellion), (Song) Some Nights by Fun, (Dialogue) Did you really do that?, (object) Lollipop

Eagle Day: Marcus Belby; (Profession) Potioneer (bonus), (Relation) Uncle

FBaWtFT: (spell) Accio,(dialogue) "You couldn't get rid of me if you tried.", (song) Stay by Rihanna

Character Appreciation: (Location) borgin & Burkes

Disney Challenge: In summer; Write a story set in summer

Book Club: Scarlett; Purple, clue, and "is this supposed to be an apology? If it is, it's not very good."

Showtime; Impossible

Ambers Attic; Write about someone losing their faith in someone/thing

Count Your Buttons; sunflower, "this discussion does not require a weapons discharge", Harry Potter, fancy

Lyric Alley;shattering anything that has reflections of you

Ami's Audio Admirations; chicken

Sophie's Shelf; Write about a non-canon parselmouth

Em's Emporium; Hufflepuff; Write about unlikely friends

Star Trek; Golia; Redhead

Chocolate Frogs; (Bronze) Iris Pivis:Incorporate a rainbow into your story.

World Cup Challenge: (Object) Lego

2018 Yearly Event; Resolutions; Write something hurt/comfort, Write a fic with no pairings

2018 Insane House Challenge; (Spell) Accio

2018 yearly event; first line; it started out like an ordinary day.

Build a Zoo; Lily Potter

Incest Boot Camp; Lily/Harry; flowers

Character Diversity Boot Camp; Lily Potter II; Little

Character Trait Boot Camp; rebellious

Your Favorite House Boot Camp; Rain

Favorite Character Boot Camp; Lily Potter II; Purple

Are you Crazy Enough to Do it Challenge; (season) summer


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